HAVING A BABY - PLANNED OR UNPLANNED?

Wow, my first ever blog...

I'd like to tell you a story about my maternity journey from deciding to have a baby to the present day. Not all of the story will be shared today, so stay tuned and enjoy the first part of a very honest account of how it was for me and the people around me. It feels very theraputic writing this as it wasn't all plain sailing!

I'm convincing myself that our decision to have a baby was planned (in a fashion!). I was 27 and in my 1st year at Stirling University doing a BA(Hons) in Human Resources Management. The baby conversation (not the baby making!) started whilst sitting on a bus to St. Andrews with Simon (the father!). He turned to me and said, 'Why don't we have a baby'? That was it really!

So, was that planned, or did I just have the inability to say 'no'? Were we having a child to stay together? Were we having a child as a celebration of our love for each other?

Or, were we just plain mad? Simon lived in Newcastle upon Tyne, I had quite happily packed my meagre belongings and moved to mature student digs' in Stirling. But, we had been together for 8 years, so it seemed like a good idea. I don't think we thought the whole baby thing through really, do you?

I'm not going to beat myself up about it (despite what people said at the time). I have absolutely no regrets. I have a beautiful 12 year old daughter to prove that. But, I often think back to the conversation on the bus and the events that have passed. We didn't really think through the practicalities. We were in the 'nothing will change' mindest. I'm a practical person and perhaps it was another item on my 'to do' list...have a baby!