PREGNANCY - FINDING OUT

I'll skip the part about getting pregnant...let's just say in our shabby little 'studio' flat in Newcastle - bedsit to others, it was fun and whiled away the hours...ok, minutes!! I loved that bedsit; it was one of the best places I have lived. So close to St. James Park football stadium you could hear the crowds roar when the 'toon' scored.

I returned to Scotland. Did I feel different? No, not really. Was I pregnant? Well, it turned out I was. I can't remember now if I used one of those pregnancy testing kits, but it was confirmed by the University Campus Medical Centre. And so, that was that. I was going to have a baby. I could tick it off my 'to do' list. Is that how I was going to look at childbirth, another task to get on with. How clinical!

Simon and I always arranged at the start of the week when we were going to call each other. I had to queue at one of the University telephones and could sometimes wait what seemed like an eternity. I rang the day I found out and he was pleased. I didn't get the impression during the long distance call that he was doing cartwheels around the bedsit. I don't actually think it would be possible. In what way do women want their partner to react?

We launched into a conversation about the future and how having a baby wasn't going to change anything. I was going to continue my studies but would transfer to the University of Northumbria and Simon, who was 'looking for work' would stay at home and look after our baby. Easy! Oh, how wrong I was! At 27 years old, I was naive.

It was too early to tell friends and family that I was pregnant but we were looking forward to sharing our secret. It didn't really cross my mind how they would react. Did it really bother me?

I went back to my room in the student flat I shared with 5 other 'mature' students. There was studying to be done.

I'm reading this back and one may think that I am quite an unemotional person. I wouldn't say that, I just hide emotions well and have always been the listener, not the talker.

I told you this would be theraputic!